I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
