But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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