You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
