im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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