I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
