shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's never too late to be topless.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
