just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
