how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
