ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
