I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
