he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My vagina is officially offended.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize