I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
