4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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