Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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