If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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