Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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