Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
