Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
