dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
