I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
as a side note pls kill me
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