i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
