Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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