Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
