you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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