The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
