All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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