just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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