Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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