PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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