I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
