when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
