The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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