just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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