Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
