you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
