before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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