Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
