It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
