the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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