I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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