He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
