Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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