did you get engaged???
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
