I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
