I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Fuck appropriateness.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
