i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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