dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
