Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
