I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
another moral hangover. fuck.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
