He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
