im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
