just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
