that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
this boner is exhausting
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
